Protecting Kids from Online Predation
Parents you need to train your kids to develop the discernment skills that will help protect them when navigating the online world.
When firefighters are trying to stop the advance of a forest fire, one tool in their arsenal is to build a fire break. They will intentionally clear a wide path through the forest to try to stop the fire from continuing unabated. There are specific techniques one can use to build an effective fire break. Some of these techniques include removing flammable dried vegetation. Creating a physical barrier like trenches. Clearing a width of land for a certain width in order to prevent the fire from jumping the fire barrier and continuing on its way.
What does this have to do with online predation of children? Children must be taught morality and how to successfully navigate moral dilemmas. If Parents and Churches abdicate this duty, the world will teach the children their interpretation of morality and it will look very different from what the Bible and God expect. Moses warned parents in Deuteronomy about their parental duty to train their children.
“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)
Notice that Moses told the Israelite parents that they were to teach the moral law ‘diligently to your children.’ How? By talking about it when sitting at home, discussing it while travelling, talking about God’s law before bed, and when you get up. In other words, you should make sure you are having morning and evening worship with your kids. You should also take other opportunities to discuss important moral topics with your kids. Don’t expect the church or others to teach your kids these things, they will learn it from you.
Your children will learn by your example
As leaders, we must encourage our parents to lead by example. They need to guard what they watch online, and what they watch at home. Children will remember much more what we do than what we say. There is an expression I learned a long time ago which states, “I can’t hear what you are saying because your actions are speaking too loudly.'“ Nowhere is this more true than with parents raising children. Children are like sponges. They absorb everything we do and everything we say.
Since children, like all humans, are born with sinful human natures, they will always pick up bad habits much faster than good ones. Sometimes parents tell their kids, ‘listen to what I’m telling you, don’t do what I’m doing.’ The problem is that children will learn most by what their parents are doing or not doing. If parents fail to pray and to seek God when in trouble and when facing life challenges, their children will also do the same. If parents fail to put a premium on the importance of family worship, their children will also fail to value time with God. If parents fail to spend personal, individual time with God in prayer and Bible reading, they can’t expect their kids to do it.
What do I talk to them about regarding online dangers?
While this topic could easily be book length, I’ll do my best to keep things brief.
Children need to learn about sin. They must be helped to understand the impact of the sinful nature every human inherited from Adam and Eve. The practical result of this truth is that they must not just believe other people without making sure to verify truth with parents and the Bible. Pretty much anybody can be influenced to do bad things. Help them understand that they should not automatically trust people online just because they are friendly and helpful.
Guard your eyes, ears, and mouth. They need to learn the importance of guarding their eyes, mouth, and ears. Garbage in, garbage out. What you watch, or listen to affects your walk with God and your trust in Him. What you say also impacts your behavior and can also trap you into doing things that you know are wrong. Again, parents must lead by example here or children will follow the parents’ bad example no matter what they are told.
Never reveal personal information to anyone online. No giving names, age, address, email, phone numbers, whether or not they are home alone. Never reveal this to anyone, not even someone you are convinced is another child. This information is privileged and should only be given out very rarely and only with parental permission. Explain to them that your job is to protect them and you want to make sure they are safe from bad guys pretending to be their friends online.
Assume that everything you are doing online is being recorded. Your screen, the audio that is spoken, even the video. Never do, write, or say anything that you would be embarrassed if the whole world found out. This is true of chat conversations, web browsing, or talking to AIs or when using social media or any other online tool. Teach them to believe that there is no such thing as a private online conversation. Online privacy is a myth. Assume there is always someone recording or watching what you are doing online.
Personal Integrity matters. Be the same person when you are alone in your room as you are when you are in public and everyone is watching you. Teach children that God sees all and his angels record everything we do even when we think no one is watching. Encourage them to make good decisions in private. When they least expect it, what they did in private could go public, especially when using tools connected to the Internet.
Pray without Ceasing
Parents, you are locked into a spiritual battle for your children’s eternal destinies whether you realize it or not. Satan is a liar and master manipulator. The whole world is under his control. He has infected almost all programming from children’s shows to adult thrillers. He and his fallen angels are spiritual beings that operate in the spiritual realm. The only way to fight them is with spiritual weapons.
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)
You will not win the battle over your children’s hearts and minds without dedicating yourself to pray without ceasing. Same goes for you personally. If you falter in your walk with God you aren’t the only one who will suffer, your family and children will suffer as well. The stakes have never been higher.
Put Proper Boundaries in Place
Please don’t give your children unlimited access to the Internet until they are old enough. How old is old enough? I’d say by the time they are 14 years of age, you can gradually give them more freedom. The key word is gradual. Don’t give them hours of access at that age. Their access needs to be limited but you also have a responsibility to prepare them to be adults in this world. That’s why you want to gradually teach them how to navigate this dangerous world. By the time they are 18 years of age, they should be regulating 100% of their own usage. If you have taught them properly, they’ll be ready for their freedom and will make wise decisions.
The Internet can be a scary place. Artificial Intelligence has made it even scarier. Proceed with caution and stay close to God. There are no guarantees in life but if you have taught your children well, they will have a much higher chance of success at life and at being online safely.
Joseph Duchesne is the creator of The Church AI Guy, a space where faith meets innovation while discussing the long-term impact of AI. A pastor, autodidact, and author of two books—The Last Crisis and Discover the One—he’s passionate about showing how Jesus-centered discipleship can thrive in a digital world. When he’s not experimenting with the latest tech, he’s reading theology, building church community, or spending time with his wife.